SECTION II
Chapter 4 -- Jesus' Family Life


  Surprisingly, throughout the gospels (with the exception of the miraculous
birth scenes in Matthew and Luke), Jesus' family is presented by the gospel
writers in a cold and distant manner.  They reportedly do NOT understand
Jesus' TRUE mission, and he chastises them for this. By Jesus' tone, it
would seem as if he has completely severed all ties with them.

 Below are gospel verses that relate to Jesus' family:

  * When Jesus, at the age of twelve, stayed on at the Temple in Jerusalem
one passover, and his parents finally found him, Jesus reportedly said to
them,"How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my
Father's house? AND THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE SAYING WHICH HE SPOKE TO
THEM" (emphasis mine, Luke 2:49-50).

  * At a wedding in Cana in Galilee, Jesus treats his mother very harshly
in the following scene:

  "They have no wine left". [Jesus] answered, "Woman, what have I to do
with you? My hour is not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Do
whatever he tells you." (John 2:3-4) (After this point the miracle of
performing water into wine is performed--but no other exchange between
Jesus and his mother is recorded here). (See Chapter 5 for a possible
explanation of this verse).

 *  When Jesus is informed that his mother and brothers are looking for him,
he replies, "Who are my brother and my brothers?" Then turning to
his followers, he says, "Here are my mother and my brothers!  Whosoever
does the will of God is my brother, and sister, and mother." (Mark 3:31-5)


 * Jesus' hometown of Nazareth likewise rejected Jesus, saying:

  "'Where does he get all this? What is this wisdom that he has been given--
  and what about these marvelous things that he can do? He's only the
  carpenter, Mary's son, the brother of James, Joses, Judas and Simon; and his
  sisters are living here with us!'

 "And they were deeply offended with him.  But Jesus said to them, 'No
  prophet goes unmoored--except in his native town or with his own relations
  or in his own home!'

 "And he could do nothing miraculous there apart from laying his hands on a
  few sick people and healing them; their lack of faith astonished him."
  (Mark 6:2-6)

(Because Joseph is never mentioned in a scene after Jesus begins
his ministry, some have suggested that Joseph had abandoned his family,
or more likely--had died by the time Jesus began his public ministry.)

    *In Luke, Jesus tells those who wish to follow him, that:

   "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and
wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he
cannot be my disciple...And whoever of you does not renounce all that he
has cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26,33, see also Matthew 10:37).

 * While still alive on the cross, the gospel writer John tells us that
Jesus saw his mother Mary.  The powerful, but distant Jesus then tells his
mother  "Woman, behold your son!"  There is no tender exchange in conversation
recorded between Jesus and Mary.  Instead, Jesus commits her to the care
of "the disciple whom he loved." (John 19:25)

(Jesus' brothers and sisters are not stated to be present, which is
especially surprising since, as we have seen, James later becomes the
head of the Christian community in Jerusalem.)


  The reported distant attitude of Jesus towards his family is suspicious
for the following reason:  We know (essentially from writings OUTSIDE the
gospels--Acts makes a vague indirect reference to it) that Jesus' relatives
must have been, at some point, VERY active in the movement since Jesus'
own brother, James the Just became the first leader of the Christian
movement.  Subsequently the grandchild of Jesus' other brother, Judas
was also prominent in the Jewish Christian Church. (Michael Grant,
JESUS, AN HISTORIAN'S REVIEW OF THE GOSPELS P 127, referencing Eusebius,
CHURCH HISTORY, 3.20 )

  Because of this, it has been suggested that POSSIBLY later gentile
Christian writers were purposely distorting the record to make it appear
that all Jews had rebuked Jesus' message.--This would make the gentiles
the "true" representatives of the Christian church.  Another possibility
is that they were downplaying Jesus' human form, in stressing his role
as a divine godhead in a Trinity.

Was Jesus Married?

  The gospel writers unanimously portray Jesus as perfect and therefore
celibate--ie ABOVE marriage! For example, Luke 20:34-37 quotes Jesus as saying,

  "The children of this world take wives and husbands, but those who are
  judged worthy of a place in the other world and in the resurrection from
  the dead do not marry because they can no longer die, for they are the
  same as the angels, and being children of the resurrection they are
  sons of God."

  Matthew 19:12 likewise quotes Jesus as saying:

  "...there are eunuchs who make themselves that way for the sake of the kingdom
  of heaven"

  In Section VI, Chapter 7, we shall see that these attitudes towards
chastity and celibacy parallel attitudes held by some of the ancient
Greek philosophers.   The Jews on the other hand (with the exception of
the Essenes, who were arguably influenced by hellenized concepts in
Palestine) did NOT view celibacy as a virtue.

  According to Jewish Pharisaic tradition, it was important for EVERY man
to marry, thus fulfilling God's commandment to "be fruitful and multiply".
(see Genesis 9:1)  For example, in the Talmud, is the following observation:

  "A twenty year old youth who lives without a wife is plagued by sinful
  thoughts' (bKiddushin 29 b), for 'a man is always in the thrall of desire,
  from which only marriage frees him' (bYabmuth 63a). A rabbinic commentary
  on Yabmuth 88 states: "Whoever renounces marriage violates the commandment
  to increase and multiply; he is to be looked upon as a murderer who lessens
  the number of the beings created in the image of God."

  According to the Jewish scholar, Ben-Chorin, Jesus was probably a good
Jew, and therefore married:

  "Of the many hundred rabbis from the Talmudic period known to us by name
  only one, Ben-Asai (2nd century C.E.), was not married.  According to one
  reading, even this bachelor was briefly married to a daughter of his
  teacher, Rabbi Akiba, but later remained single so as to devote himself
  exclusively to the Torah.  He was sharply criticized for this by his
  colleagues: 'Some preach well and act well, some act well and don't preach
  well, but you preach well and don't act well.' Ben-Asai answered them:
  'What can I do? My soul clings to the Torah.  The world can be maintained by
  other people' (bYabmuth 63b).  The fine preaching, but not-so-fine behavior
  of Ben-Asai consisted in the fact that he taught all the commandments, but
  evaded the fundamental commandment: 'Be fruitful and multiply,' by being
  celibate ...

  According to the Jewish scholar, Shalom Ben Chorim:

  "This needs to be kept in mind when we look at Jesus' career ... If he had
  scorned marriage, then his opponents among the Pharisees would have
  reproached him with that, and his disciples would have asked him about this
  sin of omission...It should not surprise us that we hear nothing about this,
  for we also hear nothing about his education as a child, about his vocational
  training and practice.  We hear only that he returned to Nazareth to live
  the thoroughly normal life of a Jew.  Since we also learn nothing about
  the wives of the later disciples, as we do, with very few exceptions,
  about the wives of most of the teachers of the Law from Jesus' time, this
  chapter remains within the framework of matters of course.  Later on in
  the narratives the only women mentioned are those who make an appearance
  in the public life of Jesus'"(Shalom Ben-Chorim, MUTTER MIRJAM, 1982, pp
  92 ff. as quoted by  Uta Ranke-Heinemann, EUNUCHS FOR THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN,
  EUNUCHS FOR THE SAKE OF HEAVEN, Translated by Peter Heinegg, Doubleday, 1990,
  pp 44-45)

  Another argument used by Ben-Chorim to try and prove Jesus was married
is in his interpretation of a passage in Paul's first letter to the
Corinthians (see 1 Cor. 7:25), where Paul states he knows of no saying
by Jesus on celibacy.  According to Ben-Chorim, if Paul knew Jesus was
not married, Paul would have added something like 'but of course our
Lord was a celibate himself'.

    Ben-Chorim's views are obviously only one opinion--and he has NO
conclusive evidence, but an indirect proof at best.  For example,
another possibility is that IF everyone knew Jesus was a celibate, then
possibly Paul just felt it wasn't worth mentioning.

   We know from Josephus' writings, that some Essene sects valued
celibacy, and we have seen in an earlier section, Jesus was probably
influenced to some degree by this group in some of his sayings and beliefs.

Socializing with Women

   Jesus went against the Jewish social norms of his days by socializing
with women. The Babylonian Talmud tells of a Galilean Rabbi Yose who was
rebuked for merely asking a woman for directions to get to Lydda: "You
stupid Galilean", was the rebuff, "have the Sages not commanded :'Do not
engage in lengthy conversation with a woman!'"

  The gospel of John presents Jesus as engaging in a long conversation with
a woman. For example:

* "The disciples returned and were surprised to find him speaking to a
woman" (John 4:27).

 * Luke 10:38-42 tells how Mary sat at Jesus' feet and heard Jesus'
speaking, with her sister Martha later complaining that she was having to do
all the work.

 *Also, according to Luke, Jesus had women who followed him and his disciples:

  "With him went the twelve, as well as certain women who had been cured of
  evil spirits and ailments:  Mary surnamed the Magdalene, from whom seven
  demons had gone out, Joanna the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, Susanna and
  several others who provided for them out of their own resources"
  (Luke 8:1-3).

  * It was also women who were the first to visit the empty tomb of Jesus.

  While Ben-Chorim (a Jewish scholar) has speculated that Jesus was
appropriately married, some Christians have suggested that Jesus' love life
was not so dignified:  In the 1960's for example, the Anglican Bishop Hugh
Montefiore speculated that Jesus might have been a homosexual because of
references such as exist in John of the "'disciple Jesus loved.. leaning
back on Jesus' breast". (John 13:23-5).  Clearly though, this is unlikely,
because of Judaism's strong renunciation of homosexuals (ie because they
do not procreate).

   There has also been much speculation regarding a love interest between
Jesus and Mary Magdalene. One of the later gnostic apocryphal works on Jesus
life--the gospel of Philip, tells how Jesus loved Mary more than all the
other disciples and "asked to kiss her on her [mouth]." (J. M. Robinson
THE NAG HAMMC.E.I LIBRARY P 138).  However, any writing in this area is
again, pure speculation.--For as we have seen, numerous apocryphal stories
(such as the one on Jesus childhood) were also around during this time.

  In conclusion, there should have been pressures during Jesus' career for
him to marry. Whether he did so or not, we will probably never know for sure.
However, we do know that he was very open to women, treating them as equals
in his conversations and even allowing some to follow him in his travels.
After his crucifixion, some of Jesus' most devoted followers were women,
and even up into Paul's time, held important posts within the Church.

Were Jesus' Apostle's Married?

  Ben-Chorim is on stronger grounds, when he notes that at least SOME of
the apostles were married. For the New Testament clearly refers to Peter
and Paul having a wife:

 *  Mark 1:31 relates how Peter's "mother-in-law was sick with a fever"

 *  In, 1 Corinthians 9:5 Paul wrote that all the apostles (including
himself) and Peter were married and took their wives along with them on
their missionary trips. Translated literally from the Greek, the verse says:

  "Don't we have the right to be accompanied by a sister [ie a Christian
  woman] as a wife, as the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and
  Cephas?"

This latter passage was purposely changed by St. Jerome (late fourth
century C.E.) when he translated the Bible into Latin.  The term 'wife' was 
changed to 'woman' to make it appear they could have women companions or 
assistants. (Uta Ranke-Heinemann, EUNUCHS FOR THE SAKE OF HEAVEN, Translated 
by Peter Heinegg, Doubleday, 1990, pp 44-45)

  One early church father--Clement of Alexandria who lived around 200 C.E.
(and thus predated Jerome by almost two centuries) read the original
translation of this verse, and believed Paul to be married when he wrote:

  "Even Paul has no misgivings about addressing his wife in one of
  his letters (Phil. 4:3), whom he did not take along with him only so
  as not to be hindered in the exercise of his office.  Hence he says in
  a letter: 'Don't we have the right to take a sister with us as a wife,
  like the rest of the apostles?'" (MISCELLANIES III, 53, Ibid.)

    In Section VI, Chapter 8, this subject is taken up again, where it is
shown how the early Catholic church began to view sex--even with one's
spouse--as a sin (unless performed for purposes of procreation.)